Insomniacs

I think I am officially dependent on medication for adequate sleep.

I should back up.  I have had trouble sleeping for as far back as I can remember; high school, college, and perhaps even before but I don't remember my sleep habits that far back.  It would take me at least an hour, typically longer, to fall asleep at night and I never slept through the night without waking at least once.

When I got pregnant with Ava the insomnia got significantly worse almost right away.  There were many nights I didn't fall asleep until 4am or later, and there were even some nights when I didn't sleep at all.  I would lie awake crying and mad at myself because I was SO tired, but I couldn't fall asleep.  After Ava was born initially the insomnia went away and I was ecstatic.  I was actually get more sleep with a newborn baby than I did while I was pregnant.  Unfortunately it was short lived.  Around the time Ava was 4 months old I started having difficulty sleeping again.  It got to the point that Jason asked that I see if I could get something prescribed.

As soon as I started taking Ambien I was hooked.  Not to the medication, but to sleep.  I get to sleep at night again, and I only have to take half of a pill.  I am not sure whether I should be concerned with taking the Ambien every night.  I have tried not taking it, but after lying awake for an hour or so I cave and take the pill and promptly fall asleep.  I hope that eventually I will be able to sleep alone again, but for now I guess this works.

I titled this post "insomniacs," because over the last week Ava has started to have trouble going back to sleep in the middle of the night.  She has always been a bad sleeper.  Horribly hard to put down at night and has never once slept through the night, and normally wakes up 3+ times a night.  She has always though gone promptly back to sleep after I nurse her.  Over the last week though Ava has had several times where she doesn't go back to sleep.  Last night was particularly bad and she didn't sleep will until 630am and only slept until 9.  I am hoping and praying Ava does not have my sleep problems.  I slept well as a baby so she is not following exactly in my footsteps.

Here is an insomniac hoping I did not pass on my insomnia to my daughter.